Must I Go

A woman reexamines her past and reveals long-held secrets by annotating a former lover’s diary in this extraordinary novel by Yiyun Li, newly reissued.

Lilia Liska has shrewdly outlived three husbands, raised five children, and seen the arrival of seventeen grandchildren. Now she has turned her keen attention to the diary of a long-forgotten man named Roland Bouley, with whom she once had a fleeting affair.

Increasingly obsessed with Roland’s intimate history, Lilia begins to annotate the diary with her own rather different version of events, revealing the surprising, long-held secrets of her past. She returns inexorably to the memory of her daughter Lucy. Must I Go is a novel about life in all its messy glory, and of a life lived absolutely on its own terms. With her characteristic candor and insight, Yiyun Li navigates the twin poles of grief and resilience, loss and rebirth, that act as compass to our human hearts.