Nothing To See Here

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Publisher Description

A job that calls for a hero ... but they're all busy.

It's midwinter and preparations for the biggest religious festival in the K'Barthan year are in full swing. Yes, even though, officially, religious activity has been banned, no-one's going to ignore Arnold, The Prophet's Birthday, especially not Big Merv. He orders The Pan of Hamgee to deliver the traditional Prophet's Birthday gift to his accountants and lawyers. As usual, The Pan has managed to elicit the unwanted attention of the security forces. Can he make the delivery and get back to the Parrot and Screwdriver pub in time for an unofficial Prophet's Birthday celebration with his friends?

This book is written in British English and is second in a series, although it can be read as a stand alone story.

Estimated UK film rating of this book is: U (universal) or G (general)

Humorous science fiction fantasy story set in a parallel reality.


Q – Why is this series special?

A – There's a saying, somewhere, that if the book you want to read hasn't been written, you must write it. So I did.

As a reader, I have always loved British satire and humor or humour. I love funny; funny epic fantasy novels like the Discworld series and comedic sci fi like Douglas Adams. I like light fun reads, especially sci fi and fantasy, but I also like a gripping tale that zips along quickly in the time honoured tradition of adventure and action fiction. I love misfit characters, the weirder and more colourful the better. And of course, I like genre fiction mashups; Douglas Adams meets StarTrek meets Doctor Who meets Terry Pratchett and James Bond ... with some Python thrown in. A gripping humorous adventure story sort of thing. I wanted weird alien races, flying cars, car chases, static powered laser guns ... you get the picture. I wanted a fast paced story, a gripping tale but also comedy in the tradition of all the great funny British authors. Maybe I'm as big a misfit as my characters are!

You won't find standard mythic creatures in my science fantasy - I couldn't face the deluge of emails I'd inevitably get from those who knew more about them than I do, telling me I'd got them wrong. However, you will find all sorts of quirky characters and interesting alien species. From six feet Swamp Things with antennae to cute furry creatures like the Blurpons, with their fluffy ears, big button eyes and penchant for extreme violence.

Q – Should this Series be read in order?

A – No. These follow one misfit character, The Pan of Hamgee, but there will probably be more, about other characters.

Q – What will readers enjoy most about this series?

A – Hopefully, the same things as I do: the world building, the characterisation, what, I hope, is pithy, witty dialogue (or dialog) and of course, characters who are flawed and stuff up, and are not beautiful; misfits, ne'r do wells etc. There's not one skinny woman in a leather jumpsuit anywhere in this series. I like writing characters who have zero combat skills, putting them in a situation where they could really do with knowing how to fight and seeing how they cope with nothing but their wits - I'm mean like that. Oh and of course the snurds. You've gotta love a flying car, right?

Q – Do you have a target reader?

A – Not really. I wrote it with my nephew in mind - he was a teenager at the time - but it's more a mind set I'm reaching out to. To give you an idea; the oldest fan of my books (to my knowledge) was in his 90s - sadly, he's died now - and the youngest is 10. I know people working in trad publishing who tell me these books are 'young adult' but my readers are mostly over 45 and close to an exact 50:50 lady/man split. Go figure! :-)

Sci-Fi & Fantasy
February 8
Hamgee University Press
Draft2Digital, LLC

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