“The problem was, because Purity is an idol (a validated and worshiped idol), I didn’t know who or what I’d be without my totem. My Christianity depended on Purity.”
Going to a conservative Christian church when she was young, Brenda Marie Davies heard a consistent message—save yourself for marriage—that instilled in her fear and shame about sex. But after moving to Los Angeles at nineteen and finding herself suddenly exposed to a world far outside her comfort zone, she was forced to wrestle with the power and perversity of Christian purity culture.
On Her Knees chronicles Brenda’s spiritual journey over the course of a decade in LA, through marriage, divorce, unlikely friendship, and sexual exploration. Through it all, she began tearing down the false idol of purity while refusing to abandon her faith.
Told with raw honesty, sans obligatory shame, this is a story for anyone who wonders if it’s possible to love God without fearing sex, in all its shades of grey.
Davies debuts with an introspective account of her journey through religious purity into sexual freedom. She speaks out against the idea that sexual activity reduces one's value, or that what one chooses to experience with a committed partner should be of concern to any potential future partner. Davies, who grew up a devout Christian, rails against the notion that a woman's body is property or that having sex is to "give it up." "Sex is an experience to be shared, not an unarmed robbery," she writes. Davies saved herself until her early 20s, only to go to bed with a man on the second date an experience that made her ditch the fairy tale sensibility in favor of what she felt was a genuine, natural desire. With no expectations, she married the man despite many red flags of his obsessiveness and infidelity. After they separated, her self-described "trampage" opened her eyes to sexual freedom and reunited her with her body which she felt she lost in constantly striving for religious purity. Though some traditionalists will bristle at the premise, it'll provide much food for thought for Christian women who have questioned the restrictions and expectations set upon their bodies.