Once Upon a Time, Bitches

A self-help book for women who loathe self-help but really want to start helping themselves.

Sorry to start with bad news but...

•Prince Charming doesn't exist
•Fairy Godmother is drunk.
•Glass slippers don't come 2 Day Prime Shipping from Amazon.

So, where's the fairytale you were promised?

Hi, I'm Branden. Yes, that really is me on the cover. I have a boy's name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped.

Would you like a funny, fast-paced, in-your-face, expletive-laced, nothing held back read? 

It turns out there is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close to creating your version of a HEA. The best part is, in life, you can continue to make edits until that sh*t reads exactly how you want it to.

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that's why I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren't ready. Sh*t is about to get real bitches…

Hit the buy button, pour a glass of wine if that's your thing, and start reading!