What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?
Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals:
• Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities
• How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom
• How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches
• How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation
• Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate
• What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults
• How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict
• How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child
• How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives.
Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook
If Wiseman was bold in her bestselling Queen Bees & Wannabes by telling the truth about entitled girls and their excesses, she's even more daring here. The subject this time is parents, and the phrase "we have met the enemy and he is us" may be a little too true for comfort. As cofounder of the Empower Program, which teaches kids to stop violence, Wiseman works with more than 10,000 children annually; she knows her territory. She explains that she wants to help parents navigate "the unspoken rules of Perfect Parent World" so they can find their own "happy medium between overprotective parenting and frightened passivity." While she's used to seeing through most adolescent subterfuges, she's worked with enough parents to know their evil sides, too how they curse out school counselors, threaten to sue principals, exclude other parents at meetings and one-up other parents over their kids' college plans. Wiseman wants to show people how to behave better; she even includes sample scripts for difficult situations. Her bottom line: parents have to model good behavior if they want to end up with good kids. And since we all live in the same communities, good kids are in everyone's best interest.
Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads
I really liked this book, although I feel it had a few shortcomings. First, it doesn't apply to every community, mostly to those with wealthy, involved parents. Sadly, we don't all live in a community like that. Second, I was hoping for better advice on handling these other parents long term. Then, I was also hoping for a way (like a quiz) to identify yourself as a "parent type." Also, it should show ways to recognize your own shortcomings and how to correct them. All in all, it was an interesting read, and I learned a lot