By his eighteenth birthday David Millar was living and racing in France, sleeping in rented rooms, tipped to be the next English-speaking Tour winner. A year later he'd realised the dream and signed a professional contract. He perhaps lived the high life a little too enthusiastically - he broke his heel in a fall from a roof after too much drink - and before long the pressure to succeed had tipped over into doping. Here, in a full and frank autobiography, David Millar recounts the story from the inside: he doped because 'cycling's drug culture was like white noise', and because of peer pressure. 'I doped for money and glory in order to guarantee the continuation of my status.' Five years on from his arrest, Millar is clean and reflective, and holds nothing back in this account of his dark years.
World-class cyclist Millar examines his tarnished quest to the top of his sport in his stunning memoir, going from an impassioned Scot amateur in Hong Kong to a highly competitive professional corrupted by drugs on the way to victory. He describes his confused youth with his divorced father, smitten by bike riding through the lush parks of Hong Kong. Whether it's the Sydney Olympics or the Tour de France, Millar willingly shares with the reader the tortuous pressure of racing, the burning pain in the legs and lungs, and calls the competition "intense, excoriating, wonderful." Unlike other cycling pros implicated in doping scandals, he writes candidly about Michele Ferrari, "the guru of sport doctors," and the permissive environment surrounding performance-enhancing drugs, noting some guys pushed the existing limits. Following his humiliating arrest by French authorities, Millar surveys his win-at-all-cost attitude, teams with fellow antidrug racers Doug Ellis and Jonathan Vaughters to campaign against doping through strict adherence, and has an amazing 2006 comeback. Anyone interested in the grueling world of the men in professional cycling ought to read this candid, courageous book of Millar's journey from regret to redemption.