Republican Party Reptile
The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .
Writings from the old-school Republican and New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen?: “Hilarious” (Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking).
In this collection of pieces, the outrageous political satirist renowned for such classics as Parliament of Whores takes on a wide range of cultural and political issues, and explains the platform of the Republican Party Reptile: “I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws . . . busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes . . . all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar . . . and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country . . . well, a real bad hangover.”
“To say that P. J. O’Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic—accurate but insufficient. At his best he’s downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O’Rourke, buy him a brandy, but don’t lend him the keys to your pickup.” —Chicago Tribune
The humorous essays in O'Rourke's first collection originally appeared in publications ranging from Harper's, House and Garden and the Wall Street Journal to National Lampoon. Certainly the title will not appeal to most liberals, and selections like "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Having Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink'' will make conservatives frown. Perhaps the audience is limited to the eponymous ``Republican Party Reptiles,'' whom O'Rourke describes in the following terms: ``We look like Republicans, and think like conservatives, but we drive a lot faster and keep vibrators and baby oil and a video camera behind the stack of sweaters on the bedroom closet shelf.'' Those who have previously read and enjoyed the refreshingly funny ``Moving to New Hampshire'' and ``An Intellectual Experiment'' might find the rest of this collection disappointing and pointlessly offensive.