Rylin's Fire

I really didn’t know what to expect. Which is ridiculous because I really love this author. This was very suspenseful. I had many suspects. Really enjoyed watching Rylin and Dara fall in love. Really enjoyed the story, the world and the characters. Some unanswered questions, whichel I hope are answered in the next book. Dara is a strong female character. Not a TSTL female. I really enjoyed her. Rylin had a ton of love for her and his people. Highly recommend.

Dear Writer, please use your dictionary and style books more frequently. The premise of the story is good, the characters are engaging. However, there are several issues serious enough to interrupt my reading in order to make notes.

You suffer, Dear Writer, from comma abuse. Commas appear in incorrect places, and are omitted in other places where they should be.

You used the word “sheathe” (the presence of the ending “e” identifies the verb form) where context indicates a noun, spelled “sheath”; among other definitions, “sheath” is a close-fitting dress.

An apostrophe NEVER indicates a plural, Dear Writer. Apostrophes are used to indicate contractions (the absence of one or more letters, as in “isn’t”) or possessives (Jane’s book).

Please, Dear Writer, check your dictionary, and pay attention to the differences of usage for “pass,” “passed,” and “past.”

You should also, Dear Writer, check to confirm that “grinded” does not exist in any dictionary. The past tense of “grind” is “ground.”

I hope these notes help you, Dear Writer. The simplest way to improve your writing is to employ a competent proofreader, and an experienced editor. Of the two, however, I would recommend the proofreader as the more urgently needed. Best of luck to you. It was, after all, a reasonably imaginative story, with recognizable - but fixable - errors.

I was really pulled in and I loved the characters. I do feel like the lead male seemed a tad 2 deminsional at times but I love all the characters. However after the big fight none of the side stories were resolved there were at least 3 side stories introduced that tied into this story but after the fight they weren’t addressed. At least 2 should have been with the third eluded to. I feel let down. I don’t just invest in the main characters and plot but the whole thing ad the side stories should have been addressed at least in a manner that allows them to Segway to their own books. I really liked it but wish for more