Sad Love
Romance and the Search for Meaning
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- US$18.99
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As a woman with a husband and other partners, philosopher Carrie Jenkins knows that love is complicated.
Love is most often associated with happiness, satisfaction and pleasure. But it has a darker side we ignore at our peril. Love is often an uncomfortable and difficult feeling. The people we love can let us down badly. And the ways we love are often quite different to the romantic ideals society foists upon us. Since we are inevitably disappointed by love, wouldn’t we be better off without it?
No, says Carrie Jenkins. Instead, we need a new philosophy of love, one that recognizes that the pain and suffering love causes are a natural, even a good part of what makes love worthwhile. What Jenkins calls “sad love” offers no bogus “happy ever afters”. Rather, it tries to find a way properly to integrate heartbreak and disappointment into the lived experience of love.
It’s time we liberated love.
Also available as an audiobook.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
This provocative treatise by Jenkins (What Love Is), a philosophy professor at the University of British Columbia, explores nontraditional understandings of love. The author reflects on polyamory and outlines an idea of love "that defies the assumption that love stories end in ‘happy ever after.' " She recounts the hateful responses she received after publishing her first book, which discusses her decision to have a husband and boyfriend at the same time, and notes that she felt depressed but still in love. Happiness need not be the end goal of love, Jenkins contends, urging readers to instead embrace the ancient Greek concept of eudaimonia, which privileges collaboration and flourishing in a relationship even if it might not always be happy. She posits that eudaimonia resolves the problem posed by such philosophers as John Stuart Mill and Henry Sidgwick that searching for happiness directly can never lead to happiness, and that it instead must be achieved as the by-product of an independent pursuit. Jenkins's consideration of love beyond the traditional monogamous romantic model stimulates, and she's equally thought-provoking whether unpacking 19th-century philosophers or Disney songs. Curious readers will find much to ponder.
