Saudade

Saudade is a word that conveys a great melancholy longing for an often unknown something. I have never heard a word that describes this writer better. The contrasting part of his personality is that, while often plagued by this wistfulness, he relentlessly continues to hope in the face of a continuous parade of bitter, broken people, that selfishly use the world around them, and flee from any real connection that might leave them vulnerable to the people out there who are just as bad as they are. The beauty of this is that while everyone assumes that the person who stands up and talks of love, that pariah of a word only used in the most pandering of cheesy media, must be a fool, or is in on the joke, but it is neither; he is aware how it sounds, he is aware of the cruel truths of a loyal wife that cheats after 30 years of happy marriage, or the husband who maintains multiple families and lies to his children's faces. Yet he maintains his resolve and faith in life.
What you are about to read is not written for you, or an editor with a deadline, or for a paycheck. This is a voyeuristic view into someone’s self-imposed therapy sessions. These were not written to follow any guidelines, they were an outlet when there was too much to deal with, and the bottle was running low. I found these and pushed him to gather up every raw, drunken emotion he had spilled onto pieces of tiny notebook paper, and release them; because when I read them, I found meaning for me, not in every one, but in enough. He has chased love across America as many times as it has lead, and it has yielded some amazing experiences.
P.S. To the criticizers, save your judgments for someone who seeks your approval. Try to take something away from this without taking away from this, or better yet, go create something of your own rather than spending your time attempting to smash everyone else down to your level. Just remember that behind every snickering, sniping cynic, is a brokenhearted romantic who is hiding their hurt with hate, it is easy to tease, much braver to believe.