Self-Help for Losers

Now is a dangerous time to be a Loser.  Based on research we didn’t do, 90% of Job Creators won’t hire Losers, which explains the soaring unemployment rate. To get America back in gear, this book will guide Losers out of the Loser Wilderness™ all the way to non-Loser status. Those with the inner strength to read the linchpin 9th Chapter, Recipes for Life, will experience the sublime transformation to Winner-hood, all for only $3.99, or about what you’d pay for a kilo of spoiled rutabagas.  Find out about Winning in the Future (the hedge fund manager’s Bible), and the cornerstone skill of Proactive Avoidance™.  This is the only book allowed in circulation by renowned Spirit Guide, Thinkist™ and Winner, Jackson Hogen, aka the Pontiff of Powder, pictured on the cover in his official regalia prior to performing a powerful healing (pricing inquiries welcome).