The “honest, introspective, and harrowing” (Kirkus Reviews) true story of a young female cop who almost loses everything in a downward spiral of addiction—a career she loved, colleagues who respected her, and the island that was once her personal paradise—before finally seeking redemption.
As a beautiful, ambitious, and fearless young woman, Allison Moore had everything going for her: She had been the star student of her recruit class and was quickly promoted to vice cop at the Maui Police Department, while earning the respect of her colleagues and a stellar reputation. But when a doomed love affair with another cop led Allison to seek desperate escape, her life took a sudden and violent plunge.
Using her position of authority and skills of manipulation, Allison hid her addiction from her lover and her department for as long as possible. She fabricated an elaborate story that she had cancer and needed to seek treatment on the mainland, while actually traveling to get a steady supply of meth from a brutal Seattle drug dealer. When her intensifying dependence on meth put her at the mercy of the ruthless dealer, he made her a prisoner in his house, subjecting her to unthinkable physical and sexual abuse, and monitoring her every move through a web of hidden surveillance cameras.
Astounding, gripping, and astonishingly candid, Shards spares no detail of Allison’s horrific experiences and the tangle of addiction and betrayal that cost her nearly everything.
Becoming a cop in the Maui (Hawaii) Police Department seemed to satisfy Moore's personality as an "adrenaline junkie" until the accessibility of drugs and an affair with a married colleague lured her into shattering abuse. At 23, adrift in seeking a career, athletic and determined, she found that training for the police force suited her, and once she became a rookie investigative cop, on the islands of Maui and Lanai, she grew obsessive, workaholic, and painstaking about trying to be fair and professional as a white, blond woman in a poor, heavily Filipino area that was riddled by drug use. A double teenaged suicide on Moore's watch devastated her, bringing up her own despair during her teenaged years in Albuquerque: her architect father had left the family for another woman when she was 14, and at 15 the author had tried to commit suicide after having an abortion. As an adult, and against her better instincts, Moore succumbed to the sexual comforts of a "broke" cop (that is, lazy and not fastidious), Keawe, who was married with three children; after another abortion the emotional pain began to gnaw at her. Once she was promoted to Vice and had the methamphetamine, aka ice, fall into her hand, she thought she had at last found "the answer to all problems." Accelerating use, debilitating health at the mercy of abusive dealers, burning up money, and unfurling a tangle of lies were the sad result. Moore's ability to dress herself down so nakedly is a brave feat and formidable to grasp.
Easy read, very interesting and I enjoyed the author(s) writing style
Amazing book. I couldn’t put it down. As a recovering meth addict myself, i related to many things the author shared personally. Would strongly recommend to someone who is looking for a reason to stay sober.
I wish I could personally write Allison in her support
This is an amazing memoir of one of the most horrifying accounts of where addiction can lead someone. I feel so much compassion and empathy for Allison. I would love a follow up book by her. I wish the awful "dealer" in Washington who kept her captive could be found and brought to justice. I hope she is healing more every day. You are a true inspiration Allison. Regardless if can't forgive... you have to forgive yourself. One day those people will learn to have more compassion in their hearts. Thank you for this brave story that I know must have been beyond awful to recount. ✊🏻❤️