So Dad, What Makes a Man? A Narrative on the Male Identity

"So Dad, What Makes A Man? : A Narrative on the Male Identity" is a collection of true stories in a captivating style that reads like a novel. Tom Peery develops his life in details not often told that invites you to compare your own perspective on life, whether you are a man or a woman wanting to better understand men.
 


Peery's story is of a man trained in the latter half of the past century to be a man by his father, male peers, an all-male engineering college, the military and a multinational corporation. Today, having taken a different approach to his second half of life, he laments the characteristics in some current male leaders now dividing the country, genders and cultures. He recognizes those characteristics because he once embraced them.



One of his turning points came on the eve of his son's twenty-first birthday, when he asked Peery, "So Dad, what makes a man?" After fifteen years of carrying that question, this book is his response.



Following Tom through his personal journey you will observe:



- in his first half of life, that he engineered by himself and failed: 

• The results of a dominating father on his only son

• The brutality that accompanied male initiation

• The impact of learning how to kill other men 

• The results of his male chauvinism and the experiences that dissolved it 

• The imbalance of his life created by competitive workaholism 


- in his second half of life, which he began without a plan, i.e. unengineered: 

+ The benefit of noticing what his mind is thinking 

+ The advantage in relationships of discovering how his memory works

+ The profit in overcoming his discomfort with silence 

+ The struggle to understand his anger

+ The rewards of being more open to the unengineered

+ And more . . .


This book helps advance the conversation about mens' roles in society, their communities and families. It doesn't tell you what to do, but presents a broad template of life that you can compare with your own experiences, beliefs, circumstances and wisdom. Consider discussing these stories with someone you care about. Advance the conversation.