Some Bright Nowhere

Was anyone else trudging through to get to the ending and be terribly disappointed??!?!?

Such an immersive dive into this husbands devastating plight in accepting his wife’s transition into hospice care at their home and enduring her very difficult and rather painful request she asks of him as her “dying wish”,
My heart physically ached for this poor man’s immense confusion, anger, devastation and the tragic loss he was facing prior to finding out she and her 2 best friends had planned and then acted on this plan behind his back, letting their absence from the house be his way of realizing they’d left. When he calls his wife refuses to tell him where they are and he is beyond distraught grappling to make sense and try to understand her need to be away from him and adamantly only want her 2 friends. After moving out of the house for 2 months so the 2 could move in and administer palliative care he finally finds his way to house with suitcase and promptly announces he’s staying and they should leave. Not only a week later he comes home after building one of friends shelf unit on her garage to find they planned to leave and used the shelf to get him occupied for the time it would take to pack up all his wife’s meds and essentials and they took off. He was broken by this betrayal. The fact they felt necessary to plan this behind his back and sinisterly slip away giving no address or location or concern that his wife had twice been unconscious in a comatose state and she had slipped back into being aware of her surroundings and was cognitively functioning but they could rob him of there last days with his wife it makes him literally lose his way,
I cannot imagine how this man this patient loving selfless man had been so gentle and so involved in his wife’s care believing he was doing his best and was glad of it, having that time with her he was cognizant that any day could be the last and he’d acquiescenced 2 whole months of being with her from the first ridiculous request to go out surrounding by her sisterhood elevating her passage as she had watched a single cancer patient/friend do when her end came near. She had her sisters her daughters and many females visiting and living in there while they took turns in easing her pain. His wife often visited and was exalted by this gathering and the peacefulness that she was feeling during her friends stages of death.
She’d desperately wanted to direct how her death would arrive and the stages in which her body would transition more quickly from life and genuinely believed she could harness all that to her will. This was a powerful way of portraying her denial and determination to take back control of her body and mind from the disease that was robbing her of all the sums of her part and in hoping to hold it all together I think she’d come to terms after she had left the state so close to her last days of life that it was obvious to her she’d never catch the feeling and exhilarating emotions and experiences she was hoping for. She had to stay home, to credit all the dedication and devotion her husband had shown and honor his grace by accepting she had to remain at her home and her friends could visit anytime for as long as they wished but it was ultimately her own turmoil and needs that led to asking him to move out and to take off without informing him of her whereabouts and she was very sincere when explaining that it wasn’t about him and not personal yet it didn’t excuse it or make it right but it was just what she was trying to appease within her own acceptance and having to face death, finality and leave her children grandchildren and all those she loved without measure.
I do believe he was able to accept and understand at least on a superficial level she was merely trying to soothe her own restlessness fear and a deluge of powerful and relentless emotions and forge her way forward with the grace she envisioned she would have in this last stage of life.
Very very difficult to read, it is so beautifully and truthfully expressive and the characters have such depth and complexities that render them relatable and embraceable, the need to curb the more brutal emotional breakdowns were very real and I found myself wanting to comfort each as they were overcome with the questions and unanswered uncharted journey they were blindly awaiting for the inevitable stream of end of life symptoms and markers that can approximate their end. Brutally honest painful brilliantly expressive and lovely connections and untwined bonds that even death wouldn’t unravel.
A brave woman’s last passages towards her death and her husbands vocal and poetic prose in describing his mental and emotional state and the toll it has taken on him in every aspect and his deepest desire to protect and honor his wife’s wishes and last requests regardless of how unheard of they may be and what his feeling are about them or the damage that they’ve caused. He has the strength that rivals none. I was so impressed and in awe of the reverence and grace he gave his wife particularly when he was shunned and given no clear explanation or indication if it would be for rest of the the her life or would she ever want him back and call him back? With no real close confidant or male friend he is very alone and this inability to speak his overloaded mind and broken shattered soul, compounds and tests the very being of him.
Wow wow wow.
A love story that remains true to being uniquely theirs.