State of Mind

Needs improvement

Each sentence sort of had the same rhythm, which made it seem as though the author was really bored while he was writing this piece. Certain details were a bit redundant as well, and some of the details you'd expect to hear about never came up.

There were a few grammar mistakes but that's not a huge concern of mine since this author is just starting out. I think he should definitely try new writing techniques and proof-read more if he eventually wants a bigger audience.