The Anticat Book

If you want to please a dog lover, give them this book.
If you want to piss off a cat lover, give them this book.

Dogs vs. cats: which pet is superior?

This is the first book to reveal the truth about cats. They are not-very-bright, difficult-to-train, self-centered animals that luxuriate in human benevolence but give little in return.

This book offers proof that, in the rivalry between canines and felines, dogs are eminently superior with respect to their cognitive skills, emotional intelligence, language comprehension, and service to humanityall the while helping to make us better human beings.

No species has developed a closer relationship with humanity than dogs, which possess remarkable mental and social skills that uniquely enable them to thrive in a human environment. In effect, dogs live by the Golden Rule: treating others the way we all expect to be treated. Yet cats seem driven by the opposite principle: treating others as a means to get what they want.

This book concludes that dogs are emotional peers to human, whereas cats are hopelessly indifferent to human concerns. Thus, dogs and cats each have an acute sense of smell. In the case of dogs, it is used to discover missing people, bombs, narcotics, and cancer. In the case of cats, it is employed to locate the two-day-old tuna sandwich that fell behind the couch.