Whiled cleaning up Granny and Pop-Pop's basement, Mary Anne stumbles upon a tightly wrapped package that contains a surprising secret from the past.
This review is not cursed ...
… but whether or not curses are real is still up for debate. I do want to reiterate, however, that just by reading this review, you and your family are not in any way, shape, or form cursed in perpetuity to wander the earth as warped and twisted beings of infinite pleasure and pain. So don’t worry about that!
But as this scintillating novel proves beyond the shadow of a doubt, curses are real.
As the scintillating cover of this text shows, Mary Anne finds the Lament Configuration (a box created by Philippe Marchand, a French toymaker who creates mechanical singing birds for a wealthy aristocrat called Duc De L’isle that opens up a world to an infernal dimension inhabited by cenobites) while her grandparents are on a cruise.
But that’s just part of the plot, and you’ll have to read the scintillating book to learn more. And I hope you do, because this novel is full of cenob– err, se–crets, suspense, and sailors. Yes, you heard me – there’s a sailor/ghost in this one. And this is not like a model/actor because this sailor/ghost ais lways both sailor and ghost.
And in case you’re DeWondering, the DeWitts ARE in this novel, and they are having their house remodeled by a fantastic new character named Eddie, and yes, Ellen, if Eddie is not in these books going forward, we will deduct a star every time we detect his absence.
I hear the beautiful music of this scintillating novel strumming on the strings of my mortal soul every single day that I walk this Earth. And did you know that there are Hellraiser comic books?
– Jack Shepherd and Tanner Greenring (P.S. We loved this one, we ARE going to pick up these Hellraiser comic books, and curses are real, but please do not be alarmed: You are not cursed from this review.)
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