The Book of Boundaries
Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER FROM THE CO-FOUNDER OF THE WHOLE30 • End resentment, burnout, and anxiety—and reclaim your time, energy, health, and relationships.
“Melissa Urban shows the way forward with clarity, vulnerability, and humor.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of Life in Five Senses
Melissa Urban has helped millions of people transform their relationship with food. Now, in this powerful and practical guide, she shows how boundaries—clear limits you set to protect your energy, time, and health—are the key to feelings of security, confidence, and freedom in every area of your life.
In her famously direct and compassionate style, Urban offers:
• 130+ scripts with language you can use to set boundaries with bosses and co-workers, romantic partners, parents and in-laws, co-parents, friends, family, neighbors, strangers—and yourself
• Actionable advice to help you communicate your needs with clarity and compassion
• Tips for successfully navigating boundary guilt, pushback, pressure, and oversteps
• Techniques to create healthy habits around food, drink, technology, and more
User-friendly and approachable, The Book of Boundaries will give you the tools you need to stop justifying, minimizing, and apologizing, leading you to more rewarding relationships and a life that feels bigger, healthier, and freer.
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: Mindful
Urban (The Whole30 Friends & Family), cofounder of the Whole30 wellness and diet program, provides guidance on setting boundaries in this straightforward volume. She defines boundaries as "clear limits you establish around the ways you allow people to engage with you" in professional, familial, or platonic relationships, and breaks down the "three steps of boundaries": identifying the need for a boundary, putting it in place, and enforcing it. The author suggests that avoiding someone or feeling anxious after speaking with them might indicate the need for boundaries, and she recounts realizing that she needed limits with her parents after skirting them and their unsolicited coparenting advice. Offering guidance on navigating romantic relationships, Urban urges readers to "say what you mean and trust your partner to do the same" and "stick to one subject during arguments." To establish boundaries in the workplace, she emphasizes advocating for oneself and asking colleagues with good work-life balance for tips on how to protect personal time. There's not much that's groundbreaking, but Urban's encouraging tone and detailed "scripts," which provide examples of what one might say in common situations to establish boundaries, make for an empathetic and pragmatic outing. This helpful manual is a boon for those unsure of how to set limits.
EVERYTHING you never knew you NEEDED!
YESSSSS! This book is EVERYTHING you never knew you needed, and then some; I highly recommend it to EVERYONE!
Included are over 130+ clear and kind scripts with the power to positively impact almost every part of your life. Most of these scripts are relatable to multiple scenarios and written in her established Green / Yellow / Red style, meant to provide soft and hard boundary phrases based on the situation. I’ve already started incorporating a few into my life and have bookmarked others I see being used soon!
I started following Melissa Urban recently, and as soon as I discovered her unique feed and heard about this book, I knew I HAD to have it! I immediately proceeded to pre-order a hardcopy and self-narrated Audible audiobook! What I appreciated the most was Melissa’s down-to-earth, REAL PERSON vibes. Listening to the audiobook and following along with the text felt like I was talking to a friend with solid, SOLICITED advice!
I’m grateful to have also been granted a complimentary ebook of this title, The Book of Boundaries. I want to thank the author Melissa Urban, the Random House Publishing Group publishers, and NetGalley for this opportunity.
The Book of Boundaries
I’m yelling, cheering, and I even cried. Chapter One … thank you Melissa for sharing your story. If I closed the book at Chapter One it would have been a success… instead I kept reading. The stories and scripts are spot on and they can be applied to the situation given or others. I LOVE Green, Yellow, Red guidance. Melissa does a deep dive into ALL the topics. You trusted her as your Whole30 leader you know you can trust her to teach you about boundaries! — Stephanie B, LPC-S, NCC