The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi Summary

The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi Summary


The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga is a transformative book that delves into the realm of personal development, challenging many contemporary societal norms and beliefs.

This work, first published in 2013 and later translated into English, draws heavily on the teachings of the 19th-century psychologist Alfred Adler, offering a fresh perspective on psychology and self-improvement.

At its core, the book revolves around a fundamental principle: the innate power within each individual to find happiness. It argues against the notion of happiness being a complicated formula, asserting that it is attainable by all if we embrace change and stop worrying about external perceptions. This involves letting go of the limits we place upon ourselves and the constraints imposed by others' expectations.

The narrative employs a unique structure, unfolding as a Socratic dialogue between a cynical young man and a philosopher.

This format, reminiscent of classical philosophical texts, serves as a dynamic and engaging way to explore complex ideas, encouraging readers to embark on an intellectual journey alongside the characters.

One of the book's central messages is the concept of the "Separation of Tasks," emphasizing that we are only in control of our actions, feelings, and decisions, and not those of others.

This idea aims to liberate individuals from the burdens of past traumas or mistakes, highlighting the power of living in the present.

A significant theme in the book is the pursuit of happiness and the importance of community feeling. Drawing from Adlerian psychology, it posits that true happiness is not an individual quest but is deeply intertwined with our relationship to society.

This perspective contrasts sharply with Freud's emphasis on internal conflicts rooted in childhood, suggesting instead that people are driven by social interests and a desire for belonging.

The book also explores the concept of happiness as a choice, not determined by fate or external circumstances. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity, even if it means going against societal norms or facing criticism. This approach is not about seeking to be disliked but having the courage to be true to oneself.


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