The Eejits

Mr Eejit wis AN EEJIT
HE WIS BOARN AN EEJIT
AND NOO AT THE
GRAUND AULD AGE O SIXTY,
HE WIS A
BIGGER
EEJIT THAN EVER.

In The Eejits, Roald Dahl's story about the world's most revolting couple, Mr Eejit was horrible and hairy and his wife Mrs Eejit was just plain ugly. Now they are honkin, maukit, bowfin and clarty and Mrs Eejit's hackitness is revealed in all its manky glory.

Read Matthew Fitt's much loved translation of this children's classic to find out what sleekit terrible things the Eejits do to each other.