The High-Conflict Couple
A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation
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4.1 • 35 Ratings
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- $10.99
Publisher Description
You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples-pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame-need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a 'high-conflict' couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.
The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.
Customer Reviews
Perfect to build on DBT skills within a relationship
This is such an amazing resource! I’ve read 4 books on DBT for self-care and improvement and they’ve all helped. The basic interpersonal skills just didn’t cut it for my marriage though. We escalated so quickly and it was so cyclical and never-ending; it was just so hard to slow down and correct course. Nothing I tried had helped. I went against the recommendations in the book and read the whole thing, while highlighting and pulling out the bits I thought would help the most. I don’t really know what happened… I became more aware of myself and had new tools to try and just started slowing down to think. I stopped responding reactively and started processing what was happening. The goals (!!!) and just sort of reevaluating why I was in this situation just really grounded me and helped me. I love this book. Our household has been harmonious for nearly a month. We’re respecting each other more and supporting each other again. I can express my I need and prioritize calm over being right or reacting or whatever my old goals were. Thank you for this book!!
Most incredible resource!
Well written, completely free of shame and judgement(exactly what a borderline personality needs).
I’ve bookmarked all of the practice sections to refer back to in the future. I’m very impressed with the knowledge in this book. My brain grew 2 sizes. Now, I’m off to love on my spouse.