The Intruder

THE INTRUDER
“When the dust settled.
I remember thinking to myself that after 10-12 years, I needed to finish what I started. I need to find the answer to eliminate Negative Self Talk.
I owed it to myself and everyone else involved that was hurt by this.
I thought “After all this time, I look around, having lost almost everything that we worked for.
Thinking of the money that was stolen, the money that we had spent on civil legal fees,the once thriving business itself on life support, my marriage all but done, 10-12 years of my time and most, if not all of my confidence.
The one thing that added insult to injury was after going through all of that and wasting all that time, the cruel joke was that the negative self talk was still there.
So I gathered up all of the notes and research that was sitting for 12 years and promised myself one thing.
After this weekend.
I will find the answer
One way or another….
I’m taking the notes and research into
a room and locking the door.
I promised myself,
Only one of us is coming out of this room after the weekend is over.
Either I walk out or the Intruder does…..

Excerpt From
THE INTRUDER: MY JOURNEY IN THE BATTLE OVER NEGATIVE SELF TALK
John Ball

While searching for unrelated files at the end of writing my first book, I stumbled upon notes and research I had done years before on something that was very personal and that has been haunting me for some time. Looking at those notes let me peer into a true and exposed version of myself. I saw someone so stressed and worried. I wanted to reach through the pages and tell him it was going to be ok and what to do.
I cant do that, But I can help others in the same situation.

Negative Self Talk or Mind Chatter, as some call it.
How I thought that something that had been said to me could make me lose my confidence in my ability to lead and to run my company. It pushed me to the darkest places where I found the most lonely and isolated feelings.
Until one day it came to me that the Negative Self Talk I am experiencing is like an Intruder had come into in my life. One that was focused on breaking me down and removing all the joy from my life. It was then, that I knew it had to be treated as an enemy. I wouldn’t have let anyone else treat me like that, so why am I letting this negative self talk? I am pandering to it, even placating it! This had to stop.
I go down rabbit holes looking for answers as to how negative self talk begins. What is commonly done to treat it. Where does it come from? I even look at old world cures. I look at everything from meditation, psychotherapy, pharmacological interventions, Buddhism and Stress.
Anything I find that helps remove the NST, I bring forward and everything else is abandoned.

At the end of this journey, I will showcase what I feel is a groundbreaking response to Negative Self Talk.
The Humanization of Negative Self Talk and the separation of self versus non self to rid myself of this once and for all. If you have this in your life and will commit to the agreements, admissions and the work needed. I am here to help and we can remove this weight from your life.