The Last Gold Ring

This saga is the expression of me understanding myself, also to my children so they can reconcile the persona and actions of the father. To Boo, my wife, and close friends who watched helplessly as I imploded. I used all my God-given talents to become wealthy then burned it to the ground before I turned forty-five, and I took them with me. Untouchable to touching nothing. Ironically one of my true passions is studying religion, history, and philosophy. Then I went and tried to twist it with my big-ass head and fell headfirst into my own trap. As my own captive alone, I had major time on my hands to reflect. Remorse wasn’t good enough; I had to make amends not for them but for me. Every word I had ever read now had a new deeper meaning, mixed in with a lot of dogma. A dramatic divine disclosure followed. I clearly saw all I have ever done, and clarity filled in the motive. I cried alone for months. The revelation of how I slowly gave in to a dark abyss made me hang my head low. So many times and ways I could have stopped and just didn’t. My brilliance was going to ride the storm out, one of my gifts. It was a TKO first second of the first round, and I had the pleasure of seeing it come. I did not believe anything could stop me in my tracks, but I could. It was not like I had to give up something to begin again. I had nothing left; that part was easy. I gave into something bigger than me after hurting all I knew, with me being hurt the most. I knew I was not a singular but part of a whole, and from now on, I would help the idea instead of causing destruction in my wake. In so doing, I embarked on a mission to rediscover truth then live it no matter where it led. This is that idea written down. It is all the little things we are capable of. Now I can’t stop, so there will always be more to come. Peace.