I need you, Ava.
I am desperate. For you. For touch. For a kiss. For the scrape of your hand down my stomach. For the slide of your lips across my hipbone. The sweep of your thigh against mine in the dulcet, drowning darkness. For the warm huff of your breath on my skin and the wet suck of your mouth around me and the building pressure of need reaching release...I am mad with need.
Wild with it.
I cannot have you. I have lost you, as I have lost myself.
And so I go in search. Of myself, and thus the man who might return to you, and take you in his arms.
I loathe each of the thousands of miles between us, but I cannot wish them away, for I hope at the end of my journey I shall find you. Or rather, find myself, and thus…you. Myself, and thus us.
I am taking the long way home, Ava.
* * *
I’m losing my mind, and I don’t know how to stop it. I shouldn’t be writing to you, but I am. I’m friendless, loveless, and lifeless. You’re out there somewhere, and still you’re all I really have. I hate my reliance and dependence on you, emotionally and otherwise, and that reliance is something I’m coming to recognize. I hate that I can’t hate you as much as I want to. I hate that I still love you so much.
I hate that there’s no clear solution to our conundrum. Even if we could forgive each other, what then?
I hate you, Christian. I really do.
But most of all, I don’t.
Complicatedly (still) yours,
Beautiful and tragic
I received a copy of this book from the author for an honest review.
This is a beautiful piece of fiction. There's a number of times when reading that I said "why didn't you do this?" It drove me crazy wanting to change how these two characters interacted with one another or didn't. Some of their actions I was thinking a real person would have done it this way. HA!
All that being said. These two - Christian and Ava. They have a big ginormous hurt, and a big ginormous love. Their love for each other is solid. You might question that a number of times in the story. They surely do. Each relationship will always have it's ups and downs.
There's a tragic event in their life that puts a major wedge between the two. You know how sometimes you just want to shake some sense into someone - yeah, well, you're likely to think that here too.
Quite a few times I found myself swiping through some of the details just to get to the conversation. The overall story is good. it was just a bit too much for me sometimes.