The Overparenting Solution

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY JUL 19, 2021

"Anxious, excessively attentive, and overly competitive child rearing creates negative consequences," warn psychiatrist Glass (Blending Families Successfully) and editor Tabatsky (Write for Life) in their disappointing survey of "overparenting." Defined as "when someone tries too hard to manage the outcome of her child's life, imposing her own expectations... regardless of the child's wishes and abilities," overparenting, the authors write, can come in many forms. There's the "protector," parents who are overly anxious about their child getting hurt or failing; the "controller," who chooses commands instead of guidance and lessons; and the "maturity killer," who treats their children as perpetual babies. Glass and Tabatsky then show how these tendencies play out in areas such as extracurricular activities (by setting unrealistic expectations for sports), technology (tracking one's kids), and higher education (parents over-coaching kids' college application essays). In the way of solutions, they suggest a dose of "benign neglect" and letting children fail, but neither lay out a detailed plan for doing so nor push the familiar ideas into new terrain. Readers looking for help with improving their own parenting skills will be left wanting.