The Perminator

It wasn’t the fact that in 1984 Hollywood movie director James Cameron had a premonition that I would write this book and quickly altered the character’s names and the plot slightly to make his blockbusting film, it was the fact that he then sent a robot back through time to eliminate me before I was born by targeting me dear ol’ mum that annoyed me.

So, thanks to the power of Smashwords self-publishing, you can now relish in the deadly serious, original true story and follow the adventures of Sarah O’Connell, an Essex hairdresser who discovers her role in the fate of humankind when a really, really naughty robot from the future hunts her down in order to eliminate the unborn leader of a rebel force that aren’t very keen on permed hairdos.

Can Sarah and her future-boy nincompoop protector, Fleece defeat the robot, hot on giving everyone a smashing perm before it’s too late? Will they be able to change the fate of the deadly war between the humans and machines and overcome the terrible corporation Hairnet? Can we expect to read any sexy bits in this pathetic parody?

Read it before Cameron’s machines finally get to me and all hope is lost. I’ll just finish on a personal note to the director himself, “ha, you didn’t realise that my mum was that handy with a rolling-pin! See you in court Cameron!”

Reviews on Amazon:

"Clever and ingenious:
A self-confessed self-publishing (soon to be publishing guru) with a must-tell story to tell. And wow does he tell it. I like this clever, layered, witty, intriguing slice of life story with plot twists is book-form, I imagine this author has more creative genius gems in there. Nice one!"

"The Perminator Rules:
This is one of the few books that I've had trouble putting down. A parody of THE TERMINATOR, THE PERMINATOR is hilarious from beginning to end. When the Perminator goes back to the past to prevent a fad from recurring in its twenty year cycle, the opposition sends somebody to protect the future mother of the leader of the opposition. The concept of preventing this embarrassing fad from recurring is funny in itself, but the whole book will have you laughing. WARNING: Read while you're alone or others will stare at you."

"Wild Ride:
I chose to read The Perminator because I wanted something different. I got what I was looking for. The book is so absurd, it is sometimes challenging to keep up with. I laughed out loud often and found the read a delightful change form my usual stuff. Borrowing the structure from The Terminator movies was a brilliant move. At times, the flying weapons were a bit overdone. Another spoof relying more on the author's great sense of timing and humour would be a big seller. Sometimes I skipped the long descriptions. I could see a movie based on this book without The Terminator infrastructure. Darren has the power to write a pure movie script based on a structure of his own creation. I see a Pulp Fiction applying great visuals and an understated; yet, uproarious sense of humour."