When Joan Kelly took a weekend job as a professional submissive in a private dungeon, it seemed she'd finally found a perfect outlet for her pent-up desires. Suddenly, Joan was being paid to do things she'd only fantasized about. Having spent several years scouring the Internet unsuccessfully for a man who would dominate her in the bedroom without getting on her nerves outside of it, Joan had nearly lost hope of satisfying her sexually submissive urges. Now, using her professional name, "Marnie," she was being paid to do only what she felt like with kinky men who didn't even expect to have any real sex in their sessions. To Joan, it almost felt like being paid to practice the art of self-centeredness–—except for the part where she had to kneel and address strangers as "Master." The Pleasure's All Mine offers the reader a rare, intimate, often amusing, sometimes disturbing look into the life of a professional submissive–—one whose drive for self-acceptance and respect is as relentless as her sexual need for the services she provides. Readers will experience many humorous, bizarre, frightening, and utterly entertaining events through the perceptive and insightful eyes of this writer.
The sweet-natured daughter of a teacher and school principal, Kelly is initially an unlikely player in the sadomasochism realm, more like a journalist reporting on an underground scene. But in relaying her love of paddling, spanking and caning, Kelly emerges as a true submissive, not just an observer. Her journey and it's a fascinating one begins when she takes a weekend job as a professional submissive in a "private dungeon." Pent-up with sexual frustration after a breakup with her first master, she's by turns ravenous for punishment and nervous from inexperience. Eventually, she decides to work independently, a rare strategy for a submissive, more common for a dominatrix. With wit and enthrallment, Kelly details encounters that involve various kinky preferences by both her clients and herself, and balances questions of self-worth with scenes of being tied up and whipped. Although the book is predominantly a memoir of Kelly's foray into the kink world, it's also a manifesto about one woman's joy in sex work. Some clients do provoke a creeping dread, but nothing untoward happens to dampen the "pro sub's" enthusiasm, and ultimately Kelly provides a compelling tale of letting go, finding pleasure and getting paid for it.