The Power of No
A Celebration
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- Pre-Order
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- Expected Sep 15, 2026
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
A powerful, patriarchy-defying manifesto that will transform your relationship to saying “no”—from the award-winning writer, founder of Jezebel, and former New York Times "Work Friend" advice columnist
When was the last time you said “no”? Not, I don’t think so, or maybe, or let me think about it; but a full-throated “NO”? And how often do you agree to do things you don’t want to do? Most of us—especially those who don’t wield traditional modes of power, or, at least, not as much relative to others—often find ourselves navigating around “no” and landing on “okay” or “sure” instead.
The Power of No releases us from our white-knuckled grip on agreeability. In this eclectic yet empowering book, Atlantic contributing writer Anna Holmes explores why it’s difficult for many of us to utter that two-letter word on its own, through an idiosyncratic mix of searing analysis, expert-led research, and stirring insights from the likes of Charlotte Brontë to Shonda Rhimes. From the linguistic, to the societal, to the psychological—from our impressionable childhood to the revelations of middle age—to sex, desire, and bodily autonomy, Holmes playfully traces how “no” shapes our lives and, if exercised properly, can radically change the way we carry ourselves and move about the world.
Equal parts heartfelt meditation and fiery manifesto, The Power of No is a call to embrace the invigorating truth that “no” is a complete sentence.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Jezebel founder and former New York Times advice columnist Holmes (Hell Hath No Fury) aims in this slim and meditative volume to help readers—particularly women, but also LGBTQ+ people and people of color—reclaim their sense of self by knowing when and how to say "no." She weaves her own ruminations and experiences with quotes from interviews she conducted with experts—linguists, therapists, self-help gurus, astrologists, a sexual integrity coach—as well as extensively quoted passages on the subject from other thinkers and authors, some intriguingly unexpected, such as "security specialist" Gavin de Becker, whose 1997 self-help book, The Gift of Fear, points out that when a man says "no," no one disagrees with him, but when a woman says the same thing, "it's the beginning of a negotiation." Other fascinating insights include that, while "no" is one of the first words a child learns, women and ethnic minorities become more quickly aware—usually by age nine or 10—of the "repercussions" of voicing refusal, and that martial arts competence has been shown to not only reduce women's "fear of violence," but their tendency to "self-silencing." Readers will gain valuable perspective on why refusal is difficult to manage, but vital for one's well-being.
