The Sayings of Confusius: Confusionism for Beginners

Confusius is confused. He is confused about cultural appropriation, for instance. He is also confused about gender fluidity, identity politics, cancel culture, and the diversity cult. Left-wing bullies, Marxist intellectuals, antifa thugs, Black Lives Matter martyrs, Extinction Rebellion rebels and Greta Thunberg activists confuse him too. Postmodern academic deconstructionists confuse him, as do social justice warriors. Sound asleep woke folk confuse him. Our country’s systemic problems that aren’t systemic problems confuse him, just like radical feminism and intersectionality. Microaggression and safe spaces confuse him too, almost as much as the unsolicited political opinions of confused Hollywood celebrities. He also finds phony oppression and victimhood antics confusing. Illegal immigration really confuses him. Progressive platitudes confuse him a lot too, just like leftist vindictiveness in general and political correctness in particular. Boundless globalization, left-wing overreach, liberal domination in academia and education and our extraordinarily biased mainstream media confuse him terribly, although not as much as having to watch how his fellow citizens, confused like himself, allow themselves to be patronized, harassed, exploited, and silenced by all those above. Most confusing of all, however, is The Great Presidential Election Fraud of 2020. That this could have taken place in the United States of America just won’t go into his head. And he is stunned at what followed of course, not confused for once, but genuinely astonished at the jaw-dropping level of confusion the world is now forced to witness in the White House.

Confusionism is the result. Confusionism is the answer. Confusionism is the expression of Confusius’ confusion. It is a valiant attempt, he says, to come to grips with the demoralizing situation we now face. It is a spontaneous reaction to the turmoil that permeates what remains of the civil society we once lived in. Like the conservatism it stems from, confusionism is not a philosophy per se but a reaction to the excesses of left-wing lunacy now poisoning what remains of our society. It is an attempt to illustrate the senselessness of the liberal “anything goes” culture masquerading as the norm in America today. It is a quiet personal rebellion against the status quo of leftist ideological politics. It aims to strike a blow at the moral condescension progressives use against anyone who refuses to be indoctrinated. The assorted observations which make up this book are a plea for reason, you could say, a cry for help but also a cry of hope. The hope that the disregard for fairness, justice, and the rule of law we see all around us can somehow be checked and overcome.

And just who is Confusius, you ask? I am not at liberty to tell you. He insists his identity be kept a secret. All I can say for sure is he is even more emotionally unstable at the moment than he was before the election took place, which is saying a lot. He is obsessed with subjecting complete strangers like yourself to his confusionist views, jokes, and unsolicited advice, spontaneously and repeatedly. I can also tell you that he is not Chinese, even though he pretends to be for some inexplicable reason. His super-dorky and highly inaccurate faux-Chinese-speak is annoying and embarrassing beyond belief but no one can get him to stop. And one last thing I can also tell you is he asked me to pass on his heartfelt wish you will enjoy this book and, with luck, come to share his confusionist confusion. It might just make a difference. He also asks that you never forget there is hope. Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.