A bestselling, groundbreaking author investigates successful long term marriages, interviewing wives and their uncensored strategies for staying married.
America's high divorce rate is well known. But little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that are lasting longer than we ever thought possible. What's the secret? To find out, bestselling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than 200 wives whose marriages have survived for 15 to 70 years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: They have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking choices on how to keep their marital vows, "till death do us part," as Krasnow says, "without killing someone first."
In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow's cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers separately from their partners. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question "Who am I apart from my marriage?" Krasnow's goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other.
A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read!
A wife of 23 years and mother of four grown sons, Krasnow (Surrendering to Marriage) advises wives that if they care about their families they "should find a way to make their marriage work." To this end, Krasnow has compiled the strategies for marital commitment of more than 200 women from across America who range in ethnicity, economic status, level of education, age when they married (from 15 to 70 years). Several know the self-affirming value of separate vacations and passions: Gail spends summers solo, painting in Italy, returning energized. Likewise, empty-nester Tracey, who has wonderful memories of her childhood sails with her father, became a yacht salesperson. Shelley turned infidelity to her advantage: her husband's affair with her best friend reinvigorated her marriage rather than destroying it Shauna compartmentalizes her life: because her husband, a good father and provider, is uninterested in sex, she has a landscaper boyfriend who loves sex. Perhaps the best advice comes from a Bengali in an arranged marriage who says women have to take responsibility for their own happiness. Although often trite, overwritten, and unfocused, this is also a spirited, frequently perceptive work that aims to fix marriages by empowering wives.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Better than sex...
This book will not only inspire you to want more sex...but more of yourself...more of your spouse...more of your girlfriends and to see your marriage for exactly what it is and not the fantasy you may have imagined it to be...
This book will also allow you the creativity to organize and construct a marriage with sincerity, truth and most importantly authenticity. This is a must read for women who know that their marriage is both theirs to take or theirs to loose.
Entertaining as well as thought provoking and down right good advice.
The secret lives of wives
I stumbled across this book quite by accident and BOY am I glad I did!! So many enlightened opinions that caused me to really pause and think. A great read for women & men alike who are looking for ideas on how to better relate to their partner. Lots of outlandish stories to keep it very interesting.