The Shy Single
A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater
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- $15.99
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- $15.99
Publisher Description
Nearly 50 percent of adults in the United States describe themselves as chronically shy, and an even larger number are single. These numbers prove what we already know: There are a lot of us sitting home alone, letting the dating world pass us by. But it doesn't have to be that way!
In The Shy Single, New York psychologist Bonnie Jacobson outlines her breakthrough program that helps shy men and women securely maneuver any social situation. At the heart of the book is her confidence-boosting plan for managing the three stages of a shyness attack. A dating profile quiz, journaling exercises, cumulative courage-rating scores, and real testimonies from Dr. Jacobson's extraordinarily popular shyness workshops round out the "coach's corner" advice for shy daters on how to:
- Work a room and get past awkward introductions
- Participate in dinner conversations and bridge uncomfortable silences
- Ask someone out
- End a date gracefully
- Handle sexual advances
The aim of The Shy Single is not to make us un-shy, but to enable us to function despite our pounding hearts and sweaty palms. With small, manageable steps, we can gain self-assurance and learn how to finesse awkward or possibly embarrassing situations. Navigate a room with small talk? No problem. Ask out a coworker? No sweat. Make the first move in an intimate situation? You bet. From going online to declining a second date to determining whether we've found "the one," Dr. Jacobson shows us that dating happiness isn't just for other, more outgoing people--it's for us.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Rather than try to"convert" the shy into voluble social minglers,"shyness workshop" leader Jacobson offers techniques for working with shyness rather than against it when on the prowl. One of the many strategies she outlines is taking care to put oneself in situations where one's light can shine out most clearly without triggering"shyness attacks." If introducing oneself to a stranger in a bar, for example, causes"overload" (monosyllabic conversation, rapid heartrate, panic), Jacobson shows how to talk oneself through those temporary symptoms. If that fails, she offers suggestions for more structured first encounters--without ruining friendships by constantly demanding to be fixed up. She gives a cute name ("payback") to the remorse one feels after making conversational blunders that then lead to self-reproach, and even self-punishment to the point of total shutting down--and she explains how to break the payback cycle. She offers fill-in-the-blank workbook techniques for combating a host of other dating obstacles and"coach's corner" tips throughout. One of the few dating books aimed at both men and women, this volume adopts a low stress, egalitarian, upbeat attitude. Imitating the"nonshys," getting"socially buff," and, yes, facing rejection (as well as acceptance) all come under careful, step-by-step scrutiny.
