The Thinking Comic, Golf Addict & Psychotic Philosopher

Thinking comic

I discovered that many of my relatives were rapists, robbers, and murderers. Thank God there were no politicians.

I once read that grandchildren are God's gift to parents for not killing their children.

Some days, my brain synapses fire with a BANG. Other days, they go "Pofff."

My brain has a million billion gigabytes of memory. That's not the problem. Recall is.

Men, unlike male dogs, do not pursue bitches.

Golf addict

Golf is like sex. The more you practice, the better you get. It is also more enjoyable with a partner.

There are five basic needs: food, water, sleep, sex, and golf--not necessarily in that order.

Blessed are those whose wives are addicted to golf.

Psychotic philosopher

The "meaning of life" is the same for all living organisms--"continuation of the species"

Most marriages that break up are due to a lack of intimacy, of which sex is only a part.

It is difficult to succeed without "book sense." It is almost impossible without "common sense."