The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me

The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me (Deuteronomy), featuring adult language and content, is a satire/parody of the fifth book of the Old Testament. Deuteronomy describes the establishment of the laws of ancient Israel, the many conflicts with already existing civilizations Moses and the Israelites had encountered on their flight from Egypt in quest of the “Promised Land”, and the eventual transfer of power and authority from Moses to Joshua prior to the aged prophet’s death. The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me completes the Biblical trilogy that includes The Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus. A young Arab terrorist named Mohammed Kareem Jihad had made a great discovery of ancient papyrus writings inside a secluded limestone cave. The violent lad brought the scrolls into Jericho where he traded the documents to Professor Phil Collins (an expert on Genesis) and Dr. Allen Qaeda (an authority on Exodus) for an old AK-47, two slightly used hand grenades and some cheap American cigarettes. For over a full decade after 2002, I had believed that only The Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus had existed in the treasured computer e-mail file I had received from Uncle Phil, since a long blank void had appeared thereafter. But last month out of sheer boredom I ran the file to its end and remarkably discovered the fifth book of the Old Testament Pentateuch, The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me. Apparently, book three titled The Wholly Book of Numbers along with book #four The Wholly Book of Leviticus had somehow been accidentally erased in the e-mailed computer file. Now that the essential background of The Wholly Book of Genesis, The Wholly Book of Exodus (along with the tampered-with computer file containing The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me) is fully known, only the astute readers can be the best judges of the merits of Mohammed Kareem Jihad’s remarkable discovery and of now-deceased Uncle Phil Collins’ exceptional Biblical claims.