Three-Eyed Alien Abducts Dog Groomer

Aretha Moon is overweight, middle-aged, divorced and cranky.  And things don't improve when her sister's gallery assistant is killed.  Aretha's boss at The Spyglass, a Hannibal, Missouri, tabloid, assigns her the story, and the complications pile on.  Aretha uncovers a tangled web of deceit and sadistic pranks perpetrated years ago by a high school clique of mean girls.  And now those girls are dying one by one.  As her story heats up, the killer's attention turns to Aretha.  Her only help is the handsome detective who was her childhood crush and an elderly poodle with a weak bladder.  Can she survive to binge another day on cheesecake and Diet Coke?