Thundrhed‪!‬

                                                                                                                       THUNDRHED!

Thundrhed is rash, not stupid. Uneducated, yes, impulsive, obstinate and maybe a little bit mad, but how much trouble can a barbarian with a big sword really get into, given an eye for mischief, a short attention span and an unwelcome interest in other peoples' guarded treasure?

He sells his land in order to travel and so journeys to the big city, where tavern brawls ensue, as do the wonders of civilisation and a pivotal encounter with a mystical weirdo, who tells him of a secret treasure hoard in which he will find the key to his destiny. Somehow, he lives through the night.

Post epic hangover, he makes his way to Soenso's Rare Goods and Interesting Clutter Emporium to speak with Ōle, a purveyor of trinkets and exposition. From Ōle he learns the details of the treasure hidden beneath the Dragon Throne in the forbidden city.

And so Thundrhed crosses the seas to the land of sinister foreigners in his quest for gold, lush wenches, middling infamy and rare artifacts to admire once, then throw in a crate with all the other priceless crap looted in his travels.

Gasp in horror as he cobbles together a slipshod plan to smuggle himself into the forbidden city, launch a one-man assault on the Temple of Aeons to stop a ritual sacrifice, save a damsel in distress, defeat the guards, discover the treasure chamber and fight off the monsters.

Will he loot the treasure, rescue the girl and leg it, two steps in front of the authorities and an angered greater weregoat and escape, intact and wealthy? If so, fireworks and fanfare, drinks on Thundrhed. If not, we'll have a hundred page description of his funeral arrangements.

THUNDRHED! is an adventure holiday. It's closer than Hawaii and you can visit any time you want. It's a book. Read it.