Tit Me With Your Best Shot

Nick "Odd Duck" D'Onofrio is a thirty-eight-year-old retired MMA fighter with four goals: open a gym in his hometown of Tuft Swallow, learn to play cornhole without embarrassing himself, amass the largest collection of rubber ducks the world has ever seen, and start a family. The first three are coming along nicely, but he's having a hard time with the last one. No matter what he does, he just can't seem to find "the one".

At least, he couldn't–until he ran into the woman of his dreams. Literally. He slammed right into her in the middle of his morning jog, and it was pretty much love at first sight. For him, anyway.

Tina Falcone has never wanted the responsibility that comes with a family of her own. For Tina, the key to happiness lies in running her own pizza place, listening to true crime podcasts, creating miniature cemeteries out of thrifted pottery, and staying single. No man-child husband or crapping babies needed, thank you very much. She doesn't even mind that she's bucking years of Falcone family tradition to live her life this way. (Just don't tell her meddling mother that.)

So what happens when the Odd Duck seems intent on breaking Tina's spinster-streak? She has to admit, something about his giant grin, huge muscles, squishy belly, and tiny running shorts intrigues her. And the rubber duck tramp-stamp? Well, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little intrigued by that, too.