Unspoken Rules of the Bathroom: A Practical Guide for the Modern Girl

NEW, from the author of best selling "Hot Lunch," comes Unspoken Rules of the Bathroom: A Practical Guide for the Modern Girl.

Girls will do brash and drastic things to distract you from a fart. A girl will throw herself down the stairs if it muffles the sound or makes you think that the fart was just the sound of her skull bouncing off of the hardwood floor. A girl will leave her apartment and run three stories down the stairwell to fart (I suspected my roommate freshman year of doing this). A girl will hold a finger to her naked butthole to mute the fart (I wish I could remember what dark corner of the internet I read this on).