Vertical Lines

An entertaining (and often sidesplitting) collection of wit, humor, and cleverness. Page after page of words of wisdom sharing space with wisecracks, puns, sarcasm, and famous quotations ensure that you will laugh and smile as the stresses of the day fade away. Vertical Lines is a treasure trove of intelligent word play, sometimes sardonic, sometimes sarcastic, and (best of all) sometimes just laugh-out-loud funny! Open to any page and see for yourself....

Samples:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Necrophilia is that uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.

Impotence is nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

Amnesia is nature's way of saying, "Forget it!"

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I am nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.