Developing a codependency to a partner who has a narcissistic or psychopathic personality will cause nothing but turmoil in our lives. We stay in the relationship, thinking that we can "fix" this person and love them out of their bad behavior, but the truth is that narcissists - just like sociopaths and psychopaths - can never be fixed...not with love, therapy, or any magic pill Our codependency and suffering fulfills the narcissist's pathological relationship agenda and makes them feel alive.
Do the behaviors of your partner continually cause you to feel suspicious or uncomfortable? Are you being subjected to silent treatments and other forms of maddening passive-aggressive punishments? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells trying to avoid a hurtful silent treatment or narcissistic confrontation? Does it appear that your partner creates chaos (even during good times) just to keep you feeling anxious and insecure? Are you making yourself crazy trying to figure it all out? Answer "yes" to one or all of the above and it's likely you're involved with someone who a narcissistic personality disorder.
When Love Is a Lie is an informational anecdote that helps you to recognize the narcissistic abuse, understand your codependency to the chaos, and then get on the right path to mentally breaking free from the nonsense. Breaking free mentally is the key to breaking free altogether from someone with a narcissistic or psychopathic tendencies and Ms. Ballard provides a way to begin this process. She offers a logical perspective that comes complete with reasons for leaving that you simply can't argue against! It is a doable solution that will get you on the right path to becoming narcissist-free...
Understand how and why a partner with a narcissistic or psychopathic personality...
....will never be able to attain - or even pretend to have - the very special and love-worthy human qualities (the undeniable truths!) that are essential to life itself. Use these truths as a foolproof way to begin mentally breaking free from a narcissist!
....will, over time, deliberately and methodically manage down our relationship expectations so that we expect less and less and he gets away with more
....will use the Silent Treatment and similar demoralizing methods of control to punish those who dare to call them out on questionable behaviors
....will create constant chaos and turmoil even - and especially - during the "good" times as a tactic of keeping you in a heightened state of co-dependent anxiety
....will juggle many, many relationships at once - often for years on end - with no one being the wiser...not even you
....lies even when the truth is a better story
When Love is a Lie provides confirmation and validation that, indeed, you are neither alone nor crazy. This little book may just have the magic answer....the perspective you've been looking for...the reality check you need to leave the abusive lover and find your way back to the sane world...
To know one real narcissist is to know them ALL! RUN!
It was so spot on it gave me chills and made me want to throw up. A huge wake up call about the life of lies I have been living with my spouse. I c!ouldn’t stop reading. I feel stronger and empowered and more motivated than ever to go no contact.
The perfect fuel
First off, thank you so much Zari, for writing this book. I've been reading tons of articles about narcissists and sociopaths for the last month. Currently under an N's thumb, I can now confidently see through all of his lies. I downloaded this book about 4 hours ago and read it front to back.. Which has confirmed that I in fact, am not crazy.. Although my N would suggest otherwise. I'm not sure how I plan to get out of this soul sucking relationship.. But I know when I finally make my move.. You'll be standing on my shoulder, cheering me on to stand my ground! I want to hug you and buy you dinner and drinks just so I can keep hearing more of your insight! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This book was great!
Amazing book. So eye opening. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL EMPOWERED AND REASSURED!