Why Good Kids Act Cruel
The Hidden Truth about the Pre-Teen Years
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3.3 • 14 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
Why do many good children treat one another so badly?
This is a question parents eventually face and most start thinking about as their children prepare for high school. But the hard truth is, high school is too late. The pre-teen years are actually when it begins, when the cruelty is even worse, causing more anxiety and stress for children already facing an enormous amount of change in their lives. Early adolescence is a phase of anxiety, of uncertainty, of insecurity. To make matters worse, although all kids are going through the same transformation, none of them share what it is like, each feeling alone, isolated, and unique. The result is that even fantastic kids will do and say harmful things. Why Good Kids Act Cruel is the first book to give you an understanding of why cruelty happens during these years and how to help your child through these difficult times.
She didn’t make it; she was born with it: her nose. And in elementary school that was okay. But now in seventh grade, sometimes other girls would tease, “What’s the matter Blaise, you having a bad nose day?” Looking in the mirror before school, she could see what they were making fun of. One day, a girl she had beaten out for a starting spot on the basketball team threw a nickname at her: “Snout.” Some of the girl’s friends picked it up, and it stuck. Blaise acted like she didn’t care. But as she started to hate her nose, she started to hate herself.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Why do so many preteens treat each other so badly? Why is intentional meanness so prevalent in the middle school years? Early adolescence, a time of major physical and psychological change, is also when preteens suffer harassment, stalking, intimidation, humiliation, and fear and haven't a clue how to handle or stop this deliberate treatment. Psychologist Pickhardt identifies and examines the causes and behaviors that make up what he calls "social cruelty" among kids, clearly explaining that it appears in ages nine to 13 because that is when kids feel vulnerable about separating from childhood and desire more social independence. At the same time, they seek to protect their own diminishing self-worth by either derogating others' worth or going on the attack (to pre-empt getting hurt first) in order to assertively claim a place in school society. There are five major ways kids act out (teasing; exclusion; bullying; spreading rumors; and ganging up), and Pickhardt devotes one chapter to each of these, offering examples of different kinds of situations including fights and cyberbullying, dialogue for countering attacks, and encouragement for making good choices. Most importantly, there are instructions for parents, teachers, school administrators and counselors so they can effectively and consistently keep episodes of social cruelty under control. Pickhardt accurately and compassionately captures the voice and concerns of children and parents alike. This should find shelf space with Rosalind Wiseman's Queen Bees and Wannabes and Giannetti and Sagarese's Cliques.
Customer Reviews
Very practical!
This book is very good! As a school counselor, mother of a teen and pre- teen and a continuing ed. workshop instructor for educators I have read a ton of books on social/emotional/ behavioral development. I feel that it is one of or maybe even the best book on this subject. I most appreciated the section on what principals, counselors and teachers can do to positively impact the culture and respond to acts of social cruelty. Every student needs to be taught the proposed lessons in the teacher section. This is a must- read for anyone who influences pre- teens and teens.