A hilarious collection of stories from the life of the New York Times bestselling author of Look Again
At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline's wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman's perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, "I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there's only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I'm Italian." The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.
In this collection, you'll laugh about:
• Being caught braless in the emergency room
• Betty and Veronica's Life Lessons for Girls
• A man's most important body part
• Interrupting as an art form
• A religion men and women can worship
• Real estate ads as porn
• Spanx are public enemy number one
• And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!
Brief, punchy slices of daily life originally published in her Philadelphia Inquirer column allow novelist Scottoline (Everywhere That Mary Went) to dish on men, mothers, panty lines and, especially, dogs. Somewhere in her mid-50s, twice divorced (from men she calls Thing One and Thing Two) and living happily in the burbs with her recent college-graduate daughter and a passel of pets, Scottoline maintains a frothy repartee with the reader as she discusses ways she would redecorate the White House ("Cupholders for all!"), relies on her built-in Guilt-O-Meter to get dreaded tasks done (a broken garbage disposal rates only a 1, while accumulating late fees at the library rates a 7) and contemplates, while making a will, who will get her cellulite. For some quick gags, Scottoline brings in various family members: mother Mary, a whippersnapper at 4'11" who lives in South Beach with her gay son, Scottoline's brother Frank, and possesses a coveted back-scratcher; and her Harvard-educated daughter, Francesca. Plunging into home improvement frenzy, constructing a chicken coop, figuring out mystifying insurance policies and how not to die at the gym are some of the conundrums this ordinary woman faces with verve and wicked humor, especially how her beloved dogs have contentedly replaced the romance in her life.
I'm a big fan of chick wit and being from the south, I skew heavily towards southern authors like Celia Rivenbark. But i gave Lisa Scottoline a try, and loved her! Her wit and honesty will make you chuckle and nod your head in solidarity!
Why my third husband will be a dog
Loved it! And 90 percent of it could have been written by me- if I could write. Wow- I think she is my sister from another Mother. It was almost spooky in the similar thoughts and situations. And my 2nd husband is a dog, the calmest chihuahua in the world that worships the ground I walk on. Keep on writing Lisa.