Widowed But Still Here

Widowed But Still Here, How to Survive as a Surviving Spouse, is a collection of original essays I've written in the eight years since my husband died at the age of 41. You'll find quick tips on practical concerns like planning a funeral, figuring out finances, what to do with your wedding band, whether to keep your married name, how to handle a changing relationship with in-laws, and more. Widowed But Still Here, How to Survive as a Surviving Spouse also offers a candid look at topics that are often viewed as taboo, like dating after being widowed and the guilt of "moving on" from a departed spouse or partner. Like a comfortable conversation with a close friend, Widowed But Still Here, How to Survive as a Surviving Spouse, offers an honest look at what it's like to be a forty-year-old widow who has been abruptly thrown into raising three grieving children alone.

There's an adage that we should be kind to others because everyone is fighting a battle that others can't see. Widows - particularly those with children - are fighting the whole war. We are hunkered down in the trenches, quietly scrambling to stitch up our own gaping wounds, while also trying to heal our children and lead them to a place of peace. For surviving spouses, I hope this book will serve as a much-deserved space for refuge and hope when you need to be reminded that you're not alone on this path; others are a few steps ahead of you and, unfortunately, others are a few steps behind. As another widow once told me, we just hold up whatever light we have to help one another along that path. This book will also benefit "Supporters," i.e., those seeking guidance on how to support someone through the loss of a spouse or partner. Those lucky enough to date a surviving spouse will find some insights, as well.

Perhaps this book is for every woman, in every stage of life. Those whose marriages have ended in divorce, those raising families alone, those raising cats alone, those who are standing on the verge of a new beginning after having outgrown the life that once seemed like the perfect fit. Perhaps it's for anyone who has ever found themselves scrambling to pick up the pieces of a shattered fairy tale. Widowed But Still Here, How to Survive as a Surviving Spouse is a story of hope and determination. It's a story that begins at the end and ends at a new beginning.