New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and Chelsea Lately writer Heather McDonald’s hilarious true story of finding herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin at the age of twenty-seven.
Can’t a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin?
You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do “it” until well after her friends had been deflowered.
As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, “Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn’t have any material for this book.” Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike “putting out,” blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.
McDonald was a virgin until she was 27, not for religious reasons, but because she was waiting for Mr. Right. She went on numerous dates, got taken to lots of expensive restaurants, and was broken up with in countless creative ways. While explaining her saga, McDonald recalls the pivotal stages of her life: adolescence, the sorority years, her single twenties. The goal is a chronicle of a wacky LA life, but one woman's wacky is another woman's "whatever" and McDonald, who obviously wants to be seen as a clever, self-deprecating free spirit, comes off more like a poor man's west coast Candace Bushnell. Instead of laughing, readers will likely get the awkward feeling that comes at a party when a sorority girl proclaims her sobriety after a few too many trips to the keg.
You'll never blue ball in this town again
Really funny till the last chapter. The last chapter is romance.
Who knew virgins were funny!
Great read. Heather kept me laughing all the way through. Hard to believe a virginal sorority girl could have so much fun and still not give it up! Her cast of boyfriends were very entertaining. I'm looking forward to her new book due to be released February 5th!
Made me smile and laugh out load during a really hard time in my life! THANK YOU Mc Donald!