Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and headed off to Noosa with Mercedes’ grade three teacher, Martha.
Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry’s suits, has gone after them.
Craig and Lesley have dropped over briefly from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline’s all-night row.
And Janice, Caroline’s sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the girls because Janice is the sensible one. A microbiologist with a job she loves, a fervent belief in the beauty of the scientific method and a determination to make a solo life after her divorce from Alec.
Then Craig returns through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice in her bed, Lesley storms in with a jealous heart and a mouthful of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis—and let’s not even get started on Brayden the pizza guy.
Janice can cope with all that. But when Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated.
Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious novel.
Toni Jordan is the author of four novels. The international bestseller Addition (2008), was a Richard and Judy Bookclub pick and was longlisted for the Miles Franklin award. Fall Girl (2010) was published internationally and has been optioned for film, and Nine Days was awarded Best Fiction at the 2012 Indie Awards, was shortlisted for the ABIA Best General Fiction award and was named in Kirkus Review’s top 10 Historical Novels of 2013. Her latest novel is Our Tiny, Useless Hearts (2016).
‘A new Toni Jordan is always a special pleasure and her latest is a wonderful, witty treat of a novel: cutting and clever, and yet so very romantic, as though P. G. Wodehouse had satirised life in the suburbs.’ Liane Moriarty
‘A classic farce in the style of Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, complete with physical comedy, exaggerated situations and a spot of class commentary in the form of suburban satire, Our Tiny, Useless Hearts is loads of fun and clever too.’ Books+Publishing
‘Laugh-out-loud funny, yet with real emotion at its core, this is a sexy-smart rom-com about love and marriage…I loved it.’ Australian Women’s Weekly
‘Crisp and clever…conjuring a flawless but vividly rendered romantic hero and a love story that feels fresh and sexy.’ Saturday Paper
‘Take a little of Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors, mix well with Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, then set characters in one home, say in Carnegie, and you may begin to understand the wit in this delicious classic farce.’ Readings
‘A concoction of robust jokes, observations both profound and pat and a very nice visual humour, Our Tiny, Useless Hearts rips along.’ Age/Sydney Morning Herald
‘That Toni Jordan’s new novel manages to be a full-length fiction that simultaneously operates as a hugely enjoyable farce and an emotionally rich domestic drama is a testament to her skills as a writer and the charm of her voice.’ Australian
‘[A] clever and moving comedy about love and marriage. A hilarious and romantic treat.’ Who Weekly
‘Toni Jordan’s novel showcases not a bizarre triangle but a confused love heptagon. With wit and humour, this screwball bedroom farce bends the lines of communication and fidelity out of shape and reconfigures them.’ Best Books of 2016, Sydney Morning Herald
‘She [Jordan] is such a wise and humorous writer.’ Australian
‘Toni Jordan is in that small group of novelists who can write smart, character- and situation-driven humour, which is to say laugh-out-loud comedy: take Our Tiny, Useless Hearts to the beach.’ Graeme Simsion, Best Books of 2016, Guardian
‘Marriage is complicated—and sometimes hilarious—in this novel…Jordan's dialogue is quick and witty, her writing is sharp, and the plot is fast-paced. However, the story's heart comes from the way it deals with the serious issues (like infidelity and infertility) that hide underneath the humor. A funny, pleasant look at love, forgiveness, and second chances.’ Kirkus Reviews
‘I hope romance readers of Australia are like me and have found their way to their hot, biting observations of the ups and downs of love.’ Alpha Reader
‘Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious novel.’ Booklover Blog
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
It’s rare for a book to be so funny and so heartbreaking at the same time. But Our Tiny Useless Hearts contains enough farcical moments to balance out the poignant story of a love fractured by childlessness. When Janice—a microbiologist who prefers petri dishes to people—is called in to look after her sister’s kids, she’s forced to spend more time than she'd like with a pair of nutty neighbours, her brother-in-law's mistress and a pizza delivery guy. Amid many absurd situations and her yearning for her ex-husband, Janice remembers what life’s all about. We wish author Toni Jordan (Fall Girl) could write a new novel every month.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Our tiny useless hearts
This was a great read. The creation of the characters was beautiful, clever and complex.
I loved Janice and Alex. Craig and Lesley were the unlikely couple. All the couples were my marriage- except the cheating- but it was us. It reminded me that all couples are entirely imperfect....