Style Five Kind Girl or Mean Girl...What is Your Friendship Style Mother's Guide

"Now that her children are adults, Nancy’s passion for healthy mother-daughter relationships, the fertile soil from which godliness can grow, is directed to others. With her daughters she has written a curriculum designed to guide these lifelong family relationships. Her words and those of her girls open the doors of communication between mothers and daughters and helps build healthy open friendships, the desire of every mom" (Barbara Rainey, Ever Thine Home, Founder).

The Mother's Guide (guidance is provided if someone other than mom will be doing the study) is a companion to the Daughter's 4 Week Study and assists you as you take her through the lessons. In this style, we will be looking at her friendship style and how she treats others in her life, especially those who are not her friends. We will be considering kind girls versus mean girls in how they treat others and how your daughter can choose to respond to a mean girl in her life.

There will be discussion of how God can use mean girls in her life (like any other trial or challenge) to purify her faith, teach her patience, develop perseverance in her life, and help her to grow. As she learns to respond to mean girls the way God calls her to respond (quietly, patiently, lovingly, and with compassion and humility), she will grow closer to becoming the woman He has called her to be and have the opportunity to influence others in a positive way.

Week 1 will help your daughter understand that mean girls are in every school. She will learn that one of the mean girls’ desires to be mean lies in getting an expected reaction from her...the target of their meanness. And when they get the reaction they are seeking, it gives them permission to continue targeting her. However, when your daughter refuses to respond in the way the mean girl is expecting, she takes away her ability to victimize her. God has great purpose in allowing mean girls into your daughter’s life.

Week 2 your daughter will discover some of the reasons why girls choose to be mean. Sometimes, they feel they have permission to mistreat people who are unattractive, annoying, have bad manners, bad habits, or are different. Alyssa, one of the author’s, will share her story of how she became one of the mean girls and what she learned in changing her behaviors. Your daughter will complete a self-evaluation survey to help her determine if she is more of a kind girl or mean girl. She will learn what mean girl behaviors to avoid.

Week 3 your daughter will learn more about her own friendship style. She will rate herself to see how kind she is and where she needs to grow with God’s help. She will also learn that when she encounters a mean girl she has no idea the history behind her meanness or why she has chosen your daughter to be her victim. There are critical pieces to the puzzle that are missing making it impossible for your daughter to judge the mean girl’s actions correctly. That is why it is so important for your daughter to shift from focusing on the mean girl’s “meanness” to focusing on her response to the meanness. Your daughter cannot control another’s actions, but with God’s help she can control her own.

Week 4 suggests a date for mother and daughter to celebrate their relationship, share what they learned and pray for one another. An action point to apply what was learned is identified.

This is the fifth style of nine styles that will help your daughter grow into the woman God designed her to be. Each style looks at a different area of her life, such as beauty, fashion, and friendships. She will learn life skills and values through studying these styles that will build character into her life and equip her to make a difference in her world.