Steven

I really like it but I just wish that it would of been much longer

This story had a nice, if rushed meet-cute whereby the heroine is the aunt and now guardian to her recently deceased sister’s baby, who finds herself in a position where she needs to connect with the baby’s billionaire father for child support. Doubting he is the father, but being interested in her, he spontaneously hires her as the nanny and moves them both into his mansion. Sparks ensue and he takes this innocent, virgin, Pastor’s daughter off on his private jet as part of a business trip to a private island in the Pacific where they consummate their new love. Not only is it rushed, and a lot of details are missed (umm, she’s a virgin and the whole scene ends in a page and a half with no pain or after-effect or a condom for that matter) but some details just don’t make sense (why would his business partner’s horse riding instructor agree to come on this ‘business trip’ and feel comfortable ordering up a day of spas and whale watching with no compunction?). I enjoyed the basic premise and a lot of the writing, but the ridiculous over-simplifications were a bit hard to swallow as well as the typos which further took me out of the story. I think the author has good potential, however, and look forward to what else she might write with the feedback she’s been given.

Has all the right elements, but is rushed. It needs to be 100 pages longer.