What do you want?‪!‬

We always want something.
We always want ... what we don't have ... or maybe can't have.
Or ... what can't belong to us.
Saying "I want" ... is a lot related with the world of desires ... but carries lots of influences ... which we don't really know they exist.
Rarely ... i dare to ask ... seeing myself doing lots of stupid things ... "What do i want?! What do i really want?!"
And ... honestly speaking .... I can't really find a logical explanation ... in many of those occasions.
I had times ... when I've promised myself that i will wake up ... and looking into the mirror ... seeing again that unhappy ugly face ... i will repeatedly ask myself ... again and again ... "What do i want?! What do i want?! What do i want?!".
Today ... i trend to believe that this is the best question we can ask while realising it is time to understand us deeper.
It is a very powerful question.
I hated it ... for years .... believing i know what i want to say.
And ... it was like that cause i always got what i wanted ... but ... i was never happy.
I mean ... really happy.
The expression of my face ... while looking into the mirror ... forced me repeat myself this question.
On ... and on ... and on.
Strongly ... believing that one day ... the answers will be revealed to me.
I mean ... the real answers.
Unfortunately .... I still had to continue my meditations ..
Cause the answers ... were not satisfying me ...