Focusing, Intersubjectivity, And "Therapeutic Intersubjectivity" (Essay‪)‬

As I sit across from a client, my intention is to be with them as they explore their life experience. To do this, I let my attention fall down into my body. There I can hover with a physically felt sense that includes a present feeling of the other person, how we are together, my present mood, what I understand about therapy ... in fact, many aspects of the situation all at once without grasping onto anything in particular. In this non-attached state, I can be with another person without trying to figure them out or fix them. It is "being" rather than "doing" and is what I recognize as an essential aspect of existential-phenomenological therapy. But it doesn't always happen. At times, I find myself distracted and constrained by preconceived ideas, and often these are theories I have come across about what therapy is, how people really are, how we function, or worse, how we "should" be. If I can't validate ideas in my own experience, they remain above, as theory. And they stand as a barrier between the client and me.