Quantum Nipples

This book came about from my idiosyncratic habit of sending my friends peculiar, obscure, ridiculous, amusing and surreal statements or sentences that occurred to me in inspired moments of silliness. I have an enormous streak of absolute silliness that I allow to playfully manifest itself in all manner of forms. These may be stories, jokes, statements or sketches.
These often nonsensical statements and wordplays in turn inspired my friend and illustrator Katharina Klasen to produce some fascinating drawings. In particular, she was taken by the statement:

Sometimes, the famous fish of Bolinga, which nobody has ever heard of, has a galactic appetite for Baluga tadpoles…

Another surreal statement that inspired an amazing drawing was about the bears and the beers:

There were 3 bears and 3 beers. The bears looked at the beers and the beers looked at the bears. After a while, the beers drank the bears. The End.

Together, these contortions and adventures in absurdity have resulted in a book of statements, drawings and finally, stories. The stories came later as we felt the statements needed the support of some kind of explanation and development. These crazy stories are now in some ways an extension of my earlier book Selling Holes (also on Amazon Kindle), which sought to break literary rules, satirize everything and boggle the mind. It is also the funniest book I have ever written.
What follows is a list of 50 surreal and obscure statements that I describe as adventures in absurdity.