She Comes First Insights

The must-read analysis of the key insights from "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner — presented by Athena.

Labeled "every man's must-read" by Cosmopolitan, "She Comes First" is all about pleasuring women. More specifically, pleasuring through cunnilingus, an act demystified with an enticing mix of humor and education.

It’s a common misperception that good sex has to include the act of penetration. But by putting the woman first and making sure she reaches orgasm through cunnilingus, you can create an even better, more mutually satisfying sexual experience.

Ian Kerner holds a doctorate in clinical sexology and nationally recognized sexuality counselor. He’s also a man who has dealt with sexual dysfunction himself, namely premature ejaculation. That struggle led him to look beyond traditional intercourse in order to satisfy his partners. Specifically, he focused on the art of cunnilingus — oral sex on female genitals — and "consistently leading women to orgasm."

In 2004, he combined his research and his expertise in the sex-therapy field to produce "She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman." The book explains why cunnilingus is often relegated to foreplay — if men think of it at all — when Kerner argues it should be “coreplay,” and he urges men to delay their own climax in order to focus on their partner’s sexual gratification. Starting with practical information (the clitoris has 18 different parts) and progressing through tongue play technique, "She Comes First" is an authoritative, and often witty, guidebook to oral sex that will convince readers that penetration is overrated.